Eurovision is honestly my favourite time of year because for the other 364 days of the year, this website is so american, the amount of american culture we are exposed to is dizzying, but for this one day i get to watch this website become a european shit show whilst the americans look on in bewilderment
Israel: Damn he hot Poland: Boobies Belarus: Spiritual healers Austria: Brought to you by Dreamworks Armenia: Heyoaheyohaye Netherlands: Destiny’s Child Moldova: Epic Sax Guy Hungary: He’ll defeat the Huns Italy: Harambe in heaven Denmark: My ears are bleeding Portugal: Good ol’ 1950′s Azerbaijan: Halloween Croatia: low budget Il Volo Australia: Sam Smith but with more eyebrows Greece: Worst song you’ll hear in your entire life Spain: Lazy Song v2 Norway: Daft Punk vs Imagine Dragons vs Alan Walker United Kingdom: Toilet break Cyprus: Human v2 Romania: Peter and Heidi all grown up Germany: Titanium but worse Ukraine: In final only because they are host Belgium: Dull song with girl about to cry Sweden: Me going to gym after work Bulgaria: 3 years old kid with a voice of a 35 old man France: Puts Eiffel Tower to background in case you mistake us for China
This years Eurovision is all about celebrating diversity. Lets see who they’ve chosen to host…. three white men
starry-eyed 