having a drawer full of plastic bags and storing plastic bags in another plastic bag
uncomfortable family reunions for every single holiday where everyone brings ridiculous amounts of food and several 2 litre bottles of soda
having to finish your food every time because you or your parents paid for it and if you paid for it you have to eat it
CABBAGE
homemade wine from plastic bottles that your family or your uncle’s neighbours’ wife’s cousin made in the countryside
cheap alcohol and cigarettes
foreign men always coming to your country and declaring ah yes i heard that eastern european women are beautiful
that one relative your mom hates and who she always makes polite but slightly salty conversation with at reunions but then after a few glasses of homemade wine you know they’ll get into an argument
your parents’ and grandparents’ revolution/war/army stories that you’ve heard a thousand times before
those red plastic candle holders that melt with the candle but everyone is still buying to burn underneath a picture of jesus??
crochet placemats everywhere
‘persian’ carpets that have been in the family forever. everyone always trips on them but there are always the persian carpets
your grandmother has at least one plastic statue of virgin mary in her house somewhere and at least one wood painting of jesus
tiny pocket-size, laminated pictures of saints that your grandmother always buys at church and give to everyone every time they visit
potatoes
the eternal fascination of every adult with the news on tv. one news hour ends? switch to another channel for the exact same news
the group of old women gathered outside on a bench, there is always a bench and there is always old ladies and they always tell you that you’ve grown so much since they last saw you even though it was just last week
the cars are parked on the sidewalks, the cars are parked on the street, to the point where you’re not exactly sure where you’re supposed to be walking
there is always a queue and it’s always eternal
growing tomatoes
a bowl of plastic fruit??
your grandparents giving you money for your birthday ‘to buy yourself some cakes/sweets’ and you having to pretend you don’t want it ‘no come on you don’t have to’ before inevitably accepting it ‘you really didn’t have to thank you’
spending that money on cheap alcohol
as soon as it hits 24 degrees everyone is out grilling food, in the back yard, in the park, in the cemetery, on top of a soviet-time apartment building…
SAUSSAGES
these plastic things on every table always in godawful floral or fruit patterns
I’d like to imagine that Tony Stark’s facial hair is so Iconic™ that one day when he decides to shave it on a whim the entire world literally loses their collective shit
Tony: *Walks into Avengers meeting* Hi guys
Tony:
Tony: Why are you all screaming
Assassin: I’ve got Stark in my sights
Tony: *Turns around and shows his face*
Assassin: Wait who the fuck is this guy
In which Tony’s disguise is literally just him shaving off his beard and becoming an entirely different person.
Me- I don’t wanna go to class today. I feel out of it
*classes is cancelled *
Me- God???? Is that you???
Me: I️ don’t want to go to work today
Boss:
(Looks like God’s got both our backs today)
Bless this day ❤️❤️❤️
I swear this post is blessed or something because I said “I want a reason to go somewhere” while looking at this post and then pretty much just after, my mother asked me to go to the store to get some eggs since I used the last 2
over-explaining everything because you’re scared of not making sense or people thinking you’re stupid
the thrilling sequel: under-explaining everything because you’re afraid of being seen as a rambling mess
the stunning conclusion: wildly varying between both based off the most recent way you’ve fucked up
a personal favourite: over-explaining at first because you try not to assume everybody has the same knowledge as you, only to be met with “i’m not stupid, you know!” , so you start under-explaining, only to hear “not everyone had the priviledge of learning that!”
I would wholeheartedly love to start a coven but I am also terribly aware I would be the worst person to do so
hi, you there, do you have what it takes to join? let’s find out!
– absolutely dramatic, over the top, macabre-loving bog-dwelling darkness-enamored melancholy-embraced bastard
– likes tampering with mischievous forces and challenging evil for a dare
– does not mind hoarding knives, daggers, and other exquisite items next to hagstones, pinecones, and some really nicely looking sticks
– loves dramatically looking robes (or cloaks, or capes, hoods, corsets, ribbons, embroidery, skirts and dresses and gloves) you get to choose the colour but if it doesn’t match the others you shall be judged harshly
– has a high tolerance for mad rambling of yours truly one particular person who gets started very easily
– does not oppose candelabra, torches, oil lamps and lanterns but also fairy lights and those cool looking ikea blob lamps
– likes getting drunk and staying up for hours to tell wild folk stories and sing folk songs, shanties, and also some classic fleetwood, hozier and florence songs or dancing around the fire until we drop to the ground
– does not mind smelling like smoke and herbs all the time
but please also remember that we need – given the terrible founder – at least a couple responsible and patient people who will keep this mess in check
i can be the kind-of responsible one, since i don’t drink and i have a healthy respect of forces beyond my control and understanding
starry-eyed 