bethanycassel:

legit-writing-tips:

I’m not ace so I don’t have any specific things to point out, but I’ll say the same thing I do about all characters – their sexuality should never define them, even if it does play a role in their characterization. Ace characters aren’t aliens that are impossible to understand if you yourself aren’t ace. Think of their sexuality as one small part of what makes that character a person as a whole, consider how it may impact them socially, emotionally, etc., but don’t make it their defining characteristic. 

Hey there! I’m ace, and I’m also writing asexual characters. Legit’s tips were really good, but here are some specifics for ya:

1) Know how your character feels about sex. Are they sex-positive, sex-indifferent, sex-averse, sex-repulsed? This is true of any character, even non-aces, but it’s something definitely to keep in mind when writing ace characters. If your character is grossed out by anything remotely to do with sex, be aware of that. Your protag might be really uncomfortable if their companions start smooching or groping nearby. If they’re sex-pos or sex-indifferent, it won’t bother them. They might not even notice. I’m sex-indifferent myself—it doesn’t bother me when others do it (within the limits of social decency), but I’m not especially interested in participating. I don’t care for graphic conversations about it, either.

2) Know how your character responds to advances. Most asexuals are completely obtuse when it comes to flirting. It’s not a hard-and-fast rule—many people might pick up how it’s done without getting why it’s done, but for me personally, I never understood the difference between flirting and a pleasant conversation. They also might not ‘get’ certain courting practices or sexual innuendo. So when writing an asexual character, know that if they are unlikely to ‘flirt back,’ or if they are, they probably don’t know that they are. 

3) What are they really concerned about? The cool benefit to ace characters is that they aren’t going to be (or are less likely to be) distracted by sex or sexual attraction, so they won’t be derailed from their ‘quest’ by it. There are interesting ways to bring this out, depending on your story and genre. Is there another character who distracts people with their sexuality to get what they want (think Natasha Romanov)? Your ace character would totally not fall for it. Sirens? Ineffective. Strippers? Awkward. Keep in mind that being ace isn’t a superpower to exploit (though we’re pretty awesome), but if your character is in a situation where sexuality is a big deal, they’re going to react to it differently than everyone else. 

4) We are not robots. Just because we don’t feel sexual attraction doesn’t mean that we’re completely devoid of all human feeling. It’s a major trope when writing about asexuals (i.e. lots of sociopathic villains are associated with being asexual) that really needs to be avoided. Do not use ‘asexual’ as shorthand for ‘emotionless’ or ‘socially awkward.’ Another good thing is keep in mind is that aesthetic attraction is totally a thing—an asexual person can find someone absolutely beautiful but have no sexual feelings for them whatsoever. I personally have a bad habit of staring at people or their features when they’re not looking because I think they’re so pretty (my fitness coach’s hair, for example). It is not in any way accompanied by anything sexual. 

5) Remember that not everyone is the same. This kind of points to legit’s tip, too—the label someone chooses for their sexuality isn’t a set-in-stone law, and sexuality is fluid. Don’t shoehorn your character into any behaviors because “that’s what an asexual would do.” Every person is different, and while it’s good that you’re asking, don’t trap yourself with rules. This is kind of a disclaimer for everything I’ve written so far: not every asexual is the same and we all interact with our sexuality differently. No one is more or less ace because they don’t ascribe to all or any of the things I’ve said. These are just general observations and personal experiences meant to give you a helping hand.

An Example: To give you an idea of an ace character, here’s a description of my character, Princess Nevea (my version of Snow White).

Nevea lives in a culture where marriage and reproduction are incredibly important, and she is aware of this. However, she’s never been particularly excited about it except for one reason: getting married and moving to her husband’s home would get her away from her mother, whom she dislikes. Other than that, she gets pretty uncomfortable with the idea of sex and pregnancy and stuff. When she is awakened from her slumber and sees her prince for the first time, her reaction is “Oh. So you’re Prince Hadrian? Nice to meet you.” No butterflies or heated loins or anything. Later, when she is in hiding, she is utterly perplexed by the sexual advances of a man because she cannot reproduce the sexual behavior offered by the girl he used to be with. I haven’t finished writing the character yet, but she eventually chooses her own path and denies the ‘marriage-sex-pregnancy’ path set out for her as a princess in order to become a military leader and restore her kingdom. She ends up with either a romantic or queerplatonic partner (I haven’t quite worked out the details of their relationship), but I’m 95% sure she decides not to get married to him.

So you see that her asexuality is not her whole character (these are only small parts of the plot). She is a full character with complex feelings and many tribulations, but her asexuality is a part of her and in some way does influence her decisions or interactions with others. Nevea is also motivated by a desire to lead, a desire to feel cared for, and a desire to live up to her birthright. Asexuality is a part of your character, but not a defining characteristic (as legit said). They will be motivated by other things (and have to be), but being asexual will affect their lives and stories in some way. 

I hope you found this helpful! If you or anyone else want more information or have other questions, I’m more than happy to help out!