Reporter in the Marvel unviverse: Anthony Stark, well-known as a generous philanthropist, the CEO of Stark Industries, and his alter-ego “Iron Man,” under fire today after a controversial video he posted to his personal Vine account went viral. The short footage showed Stark in the passenger seat of a car, driving by an anti-homosexual rally, repeatedly shouting “I love sucking [expletive for male genitalia]” out of the open window.
A+ Concept, I love it, I’m dying, it’s too good.
It becomes the hottest new meme throughout the US. Every single time there’s some homophobic rally, Hell, every time there’s a rally held by homophobes whether or not the rally was ABOUT homophobia there’s now teens doing drive-by’s being like “Ahem, this one is for Tony Stark – I LOVE SUCKING [expletive for male genitalia]”. The meme keeps escalating as people find newer and funnier ways to bleep out what they are saying in real time and on Vine. The most popular way? The sound of a repulser charging up.
The whole thing drives homophobes crazy. They hate it so much, it literally has some people trying to create their own counter meme (”I love sucking UP TO JESUS”) that goes very very badly (exactly how you’d expect). So, out of options, they try to sue Tony.
Everybody should know better than to sue Tony.
His lawyers tear them apart. There’s an unholy grin on Tony’s face during the entire publicized case – he’s in a rainbow suit. He’s in rainbow shades. He’s wearing a harness over his suit and his shoes literally leave glitter footprints everywhere he goes. His tie says “I love sucking [REPULSER NOISE]”. Twitter goes nuts. A still of Tony from the trial, one where he is sarcastically blowing pink glitter into the face of a woman trying to hit him with a picket sign, becomes a reaction image nobody can resist. You wanna represent how tired you are of homophobic comments? That’s your image. It’s usually coupled by one of Rhodey in the background, military dress uniform smeared in glitter and a blatant glittery kiss mark pressed to his cheek, staring at the ceiling and praying for death.
Listen this is the best addition to my post and im both writing this into a fic and drawing fan art for it @purgatoryandme
Well… sure, Rhodey pretends he’s praying for death in public, but just who do you think was in the driver’s seat in the first place
who do you think deliberately chose to drive past that rally in the first place
(remember: Rhodey hates Tony’s self-destructive bullshit, and his selfish inconsiderate bullshit, but his snarky prankster bullshit? he not only loves it, he facilitates it.)
I think he’d be cranky to be on it in the first place tbh, because for Eliot cooking is something really emotional and personal. He’ll do it commercially, like I assume sometimes he cooks at the brewpub, and he’ll do it for a con, but to do it on a television show like that, I think he’d find it crass (not that I do, but Eliot would). So he’d be on it for a con, I assume, and that’d make him cranky. MURDER EYES. And the con probably would hinge on him losing, but it’s real easy to win by accident on Cutthroat Kitchen, so he’d probably go home with all the money AND a win, forcing Hardison to take his place backstage and do the shit he was supposed to do after losing.
I bet at one point Eliot serves an empty plate in an attempt to lose and still wins because “if he couldn’t make it perfectly he wouldn’t serve me substandard food, and I love the glimpse that gives into the mindset of the chef.” – The Guest Celebrity Judge.
“Okay,
Hardison, I need you to steal a place on the…”
“No.”
Nate
stilled and frowned. Out of the whole crew, Eliot was perhaps the
most reasonable one. So why now…?
“Eliot,
we need to infiltrate the show from the inside to get to our mark, we
need you to participate in it. It’s the easiest way to make you
interesting to Marlow.”
Eliot
breathed sharply through his nose and, after a long while, nodded
curtly.
“Fine,”
he rasped. Nate hummed, satisfied, and was about to give Hardison a
set of instruction when the hitter spoke once more. “But there
is no way I’m cheating my way in. If I do that, I do that right.”
starry-eyed 