like i have my problems with harry potter and jk rowling but it will never stop meaning something to me that rowling was a depressed 30-year single mother living on welfare when she thought of this story, that she was – in her own words– at rock bottom and she managed to put herself out there, to create this brilliant amazing series that has impacted so many people’s lives. there’s something to be said for hope.
hey i just fuckin realized, ok, dumbledore knew the curse on the DADA position was a thing, he was there when riddle cast it and anyway i feel like if you’re headmaster for fifty years or whatever you notice when every teacher you hire for a specific position has some kind of ironic tragedy ruin their shit by the end of the year, every year, for fifty years. and also dumbledore never let snape take the position cuz he wanted him to stick around. he knew what was going on!!! so ok so what i realized is dumbledore hired remus ‘actual cinnabon’ lupin anyway for the cursed DADA position that fucks your shit up in nine months or less, the year the ministry sicced dementors on hogwarts because remus’s old bff was loose from wizard jail. like. dumbledore what the fuck. ‘hey that sweet and loyal guy who can’t catch a break and got most of his life ruined serving me already– i’m gonna put him in this position of getting the rest of his life ruined. like. for reasons! haha ten points to dumbledore!’
i don’t think dumbledore was much of a chessmaster at all?? i think he was just a huge dick.
you’d think percy is judging the dragon when the truth is he’s judging charlie’s mullet
i want a remake of the harry potter movies that has 0% of the serious business plot and 100% of the random magical shit that happens all the rest of the year
Headcanon that an outraged 6-year-old Charlie Weasley writes to an elderly Newt Scamander wanting to know why Gringotts keeps a dragon locked up underground and begging him to fix it. Newt writes back saying that sadly he’s been fighting that fight for years and no one ever wants to listen to him because the powerful families whose money is being kept safe by the dragon always shut him down, and that Charlie is the first person he’s heard of who’s as angry as he is about it. Charlie decides that day to dedicate his life to finding out everything he can about dragons so that one day he can free the poor Gringotts dragon. After the war, when they hear that Harry, Ron and Hermione freed the dragon, they celebrate and immediately begin petitioning to have it made illegal to imprison dragons so that nothing like that ever happens again. It’s only when Hermione becomes Minister that it’s finally signed into law.
This is the best Harry Potter headcanon I’ve ever seen
yes yes yes
Just imagine how that conversation would go though, like Charlie’s been learning about dragons his whole life, studying them, learning about the laws surrounding them, practising the jailbreak of dragons by smuggling one out of Hogwarts, preparing for the moment when, one day, he can free the Ukrainian Ironbelly from Gringotts.
And Ron’s like “Oh, yeah, don’t worry about it—we broke into Gringotts and used him as our get-away vehicle. He’s just chilling in the wilds somewhere now so, yeah. Job done.”
I want an AU where Ron, completely convinced that he’s overshadowed by all his brothers and will never be as remarkable or as well-recognised as any of them, just accidentally achieves all of their major life goals without noticing. They’re all super jealous and think of him as The Golden Brother and he’s completely clueless.
the times my son, harry james potter, was the sass king
there’s no need to call me ‘sir’, professor
it’s just, you can’t break an unbreakable vow. I’d worked that much out for myself funnily enough.
wow, I wonder what it’d be like to have a difficult life
whatcha fell ova for? I didn’t do it on purpose
the task is two days from now. really? I had no idea
did you think we’d be staying in five-star hotels? finding a horcrux every other day?
but I am the chosen one
tell them I mean no harm. I’m sorry, professor. but I must not tell lies.
listening to the news! again? well, it changes every day, you see
yeah, you can have a word. good-bye
I know what day it is. well done. so you’ve finally learned the days of the week
just do what I did, harry! what, drop my wand?
an interview? what do you mean? I mean a reporter asked me questions and I answered them
It’s time you learned some respect! It’s time you earned it.
they stuff people’s heads down toilet the first day at Stonewall. Want to come upstairs and practice? no, thanks. The poor toilet’s never had anything as horrible as your head down it — it might be sick
Sure you can manage that broom, Potter?… Shame it doesn’t come with a parachute — in case you get too near a dementor. Pity you can’t attach an extra arm to yours, Malfoy. then it could catch the Snitch for you.
starry-eyed 