ichiwashername-o:

xenodile:

determinedtomato:

Undertale au where the whole game is a D&D session and Asriel is the DM

Frisk: i roll to pet the dog.

Asriel: you pet the dog. it was a good dog.

Frisk: i roll to pet th-

Asriel: Frisk you’ve been petting the dog for the past 5 turns you can stop now.

Frisk: i roll to pet the dog.

Asriel: The Absolute God of Hyperdeath casts Galacta Blazing- 

Papyrus: I DON’T REMEMBER SEEING THAT SPELL IN ANY OF THE RULE BOOKS.  OR THIS CHARACTER.  OR ANYTHING FROM THIS CAMPAIGN, REALLY.

Asriel: W-well, it’s from the newest edition available online, s-so just hush.  Anyway, Frisk, roll for evasion.

Frisk: I rolled a 1.

Asriel: Galacta Blazing strikes you square in the chest, piercing your very soul and dealing 5d8 arcane damage totaling…29 damage after armor and resistance.  Your life is brought to -20, killing yo-

Frisk: I roll to resist.

Asriel: What.

Frisk: I roll to resist dying.

Asriel: Frisk you have a Light Armor score of 3 and no magic resistance, how are you going to-

Frisk: My soul is too determined and refuses to die.

Asriel: …Okay, fine.  You make one last ditch effort to resist the God of Hyperdeath’s pow-

Papyrus: I LOOKED UP THE LATEST EDITION OF THE RULE BOOKS ONLINE BUT I COULDN’T FIND THE GOD OF HYPERDEATH ANYWHERE, AND GALACTA BLAZING ISN’T IN ANY OF THE SPELL COMPENDIUMS.

Asriel: Papyrus, not now!  I’m just about to wi-

Frisk: I rolled a 20.  

Asriel: …Your soul refused to die…restoring you to full health…

Frisk: I buy a hot dog.

Asriel: you can’t buy a hot dog you don’t have enough bag space.

Sans: I put the hot dog on his head.

Asriel: …

Sans: I roll to put the hot dog on Frisk’s head.

Asriel: you put the got dog on Frisk’s head.

Frisk: I want another hot dog.

Sans: I put another hot dog on his head.

Asriel: *internal screaming*

Unlikely Scifi Novels

actualmenacebuckybarnes:

  1. Scientist Decides To Play God And It Turns Out Great
  2. Alien Matriarchy Sustainable Without Men In Positions of Power After All
  3. Alien-Human Relations Not Used As Metaphor For European Colonialization/Imperialism
  4. Alien Babe Has Incompatible Genitalia and Is Also Uninterested In Fucking You
  5. Racially Diverse Crew All Make It Back From Mysterious Supposedly Uninhabited Planet Alive
  6. Utopia Not Actually Dystopia

okay but elle woods though

havvkeyes:

  • had a 4.0 as an undergrad
  • got a 179 on her LSATs when a 180 is a perfect score
  • got into HARVARD LAW SCHOOL which is one of the most prestigious law schools in the country
  • after she’s humiliated by several professors and peers alike instead of quitting elle makes up her mind that she is going to kick law school’s ass
  • refused to reveal a secret told to her in confidence even though it would have advanced her career 
  • is an amazing friend who not only helps her friend get her dog back from her deadbeat ex, but she also helps her friend meet a new man 
  • instead of competing with her ex’s new girl friend the two of them eventually become best friends and ditch the jerk together
  • even after following her ex to harvard in an attempt to win him back, elle realizes that he’s a jerk and she’s so much better than him
  • turns down said jerk when he comes crawling back
  • wins her first trial using not only ingenious deductive reasoning and her knowledge of fashion and proves that she is not a helpless “dumb blonde”
  • elle woods though