shittyaus:

• i really want us to get along and i invite you over to my apartment after i had spent hours hiding away all my strange plants and potions and fancy magical rocks and moving star charts and kick my cat familiar out for a day. Everything looks incredibly normal and non-magic and things are going great until i see u accidently touch a thing i forgot to put away THAT YOU ARE NOT TO MEANT TO TOUCH 

• i get a cold and when im sick i really can’t be around non-magic people but u show up at my door and i try to shoo u away but u come in and see my apartment but tomy relief u think i’m just really into weird crap, but then my cat starts talking and u notice some of my furniture are walking around the house and u swore u saw that house plant wave at you

• you’re always finding weird trinkets in your clothes such as colourful feathers, smooth rocks, glinting scales or peculiar miniature marble carvings and you don’t know where they’re coming from but they’re actually good luck charms that i slip into pockets 

• whenever we touch im so nervous and i cant keep my magic in check and i slip up so whenever ur hand brushes mine for a brief moment you see spirits/ghosts or light bulb bursts or door slams open and i’m so sorry cause now you think i’m haunted or something

• my kitchen’s a mess and inside a fridge is a mixture of drinks, food, potions and potion ingredients and u drink what you thought was some weird cordial and now you’re having a 24hr out of sense experience and you’re seeing and saying really delusional crap and i have to keep you here overnight so you don’t die